Thursday, March 6, 2008

on the suckitude meter, yesterday ranked 5000

This morning (started writing this Tuesday) my doorbell rang at 6:30 am and I heard a man's voice say, "Hello?" I leaped out of bed, in semi-undress (Joel was just stepping into the shower) and opened my door wondering if it was my new dishwasher being delivered a)freakishly early, and b) by intrusive delivery guys? No. It was my neighbor, telling me my door was standing open. And judging by the amount of snow now accumulated in my entry way, for some time. GREAT. Joel went to bed at 1:30 last night and the door was shut (obviously). The only thing we can think of is that we forgot to lock it and the wind blew it open? Which is weird because that door has an extremely tight seal. But anyway, another neighbor who had taken her dog out saw it, didn't have our number, so called my next door neighbor, who came over to see if we were victims of a mass murderer. So that was lovely.

Then I'm taking the kids to school (my neighbor's boys as well) because it was 22 degrees outside and snowing and I'm waiting in this long line of cars to drop off when it occurs to me that wow, that's weird - there are a ton of people coming OUT of the school. And then I see teachers running out and telling cars to leave the parking lot. Super. Someone pulled the fire alarm. So I take kids back home for 20 minutes before returning to school to walk them in. It's chaos at my house with a second grader, two kindergartners and Donovan, all racing cars around and crashing into one another. But we eventually pile back into the car, get to school, and walk in amongst other confused students/parents.

Oh, and comcast had an outage in my area this morning so internet and phone were down. Now I apparently have internet, but no phone. Luckily the ge delivery guys had my cell phone number. So now I'm also chatting with an extremely unhelpful comcast agent who is scheduling someone to come out and look.

And my dishwasher is here! At least SOMETHING is going well.

Oh how times have changed - I didn't post this right away and in the ensuing hours, more mayhem:

ARGHHHHHH! I'm so hating this day!!!! So I had scheduled the Comcast person to come visit and later I picked up the phone and there was a dial tone. Yay! Or so I thought.

THEN I was looking over the dishwasher and noticed that the door doesn't quite line up with the inside plasticky-liner thingy. That's weird, I thought. Upon further inspection, the screw holding the liner TO the door on the right-hand side is totally just sitting there - like the hole is stripped. And on the left-hand side, the liner is actually cracked. And in the center, where it catches/locks, is clearly NOT lined up. So now I'm pissed that when I looked it over and signed I didn't do so with a MAGNIFYING GLASS.

SO, I pick up the phone to call GE. I get the dial tone. I dial. Nothing. That's weird. I hang up and try again. Nothing. So I try calling my cell phone. It rings once and goes straight to missed call (nevermind that I never heard it ring on my house phone). So I try calling from my cell to my home and instead of going straight to voicemail as it was earlier in the day, it now does that stupid chime and "We're sorry. Your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again." GAAAAAAH!

So I call GE on my cell phone and after chatting with a very nice Myrtle, get a service appointment for someone to come out and look at the door. On MONDAY. That's 5 days away. I beg Myrtle for something sooner or for a cancellation list - she puts a note to the tech about a cancellation, but what are the odds, really?

So then I call Comcast and the guy is as confused as I am (way to inspire confidence) but puts in a "trouble ticket." The good thing is that he thinks they can fix it from there, so no early morning wake-up call, but still.

And I was soooo looking forward to cooking a lot tonight and filling my beautiful dishwasher and letting it do all the work. And now I'm totally uninspired. And my hormones are taking over and actually I'm crying. Crying and uninspired - good combination.

Ok - so I STILL didn't post that last night, so I'll add the next (final?) chapter. Warning: Quickly sliding down the depression slide.

It got worse. I wasn't even sure if I should post about it (and definitely wasn't in the frame of mind to do so last night) and this morning I'm still feeling very...shaky. And by worse, I mean mentally/emotionally. I started to fix the kids some macaroni and cheese for dinner because I was just not motivated for anything else. The kids were playing (relatively) nicely. I had a little quiet moment and thought, 'Hey, I'll schedule that prenatal massage Joel gifted me at Christmas.' I checked and the phone was even working (oh wait - is this a GOOD thing - great, NOW what's going to go wrong). So I dialed. I'm on hold for just a bit and about 12 seconds after I start talking to the woman at the spa, Donovan totally freaks out. He was like a freaking banshee. I couldn't even hear what she was saying. I was trying to calmly walk away from him but that only escalated the situation. I pleaded with Donovan to please just wait (and then said, "Actually, maybe I should come in right now. Heh.") Finally, she said she needed to make sure that who she was scheduling me with could do maternity massage and that she'd call me back (and, actually, if she is of child-bearing age, I think she may have just been sterilized via the phone - new technology! from Donovan!). I hung up the phone and totally lost it on Donovan. I was SO.PISSED. and embarrassed. And upset. And I couldn't stop crying after that.

She called back about 20 minutes later (I had said, 'Let me get them some food - I think their blood sugars are dropping') and I kid you not - the SECOND I answer the phone, Donovan is attached to my leg yelling, "I want a snack! MOMMY! A SNACK! MOOOOOOOMMMMYYYYYY!" Are you freaking kidding me? Your dinner is sitting right in front of you. It's MACARONI AND CHEESE.

I kind of laughed and quickly scheduled the appointment and hung up. The laughing was really a front for the crying. Anyway, it was just bad. I didn't really stop crying for the rest of the night. As I was going to bed, I had a conversation with Joel about how I needed him to be here, not walk in the door at 7:45 when he knows I've had a bad day. I know there's only so much he can really do, but I needed SOMEONE on my team yesterday. And I *never* ask him to come home early. I finally said, "Honestly, by 6, if I thought it would have helped, I would have left." He seemed alarmed by it and I quickly pointed out that I still had the presence of mind to know that it wouldn't have helped, but still.

So of course you'd think that with so much crying I would have slept really well last night, and you would have been right if Donovan hadn't been up for a leg ache and then up at 5:30 doing who knows what. I walked him back to bed and quietly threatened his very life if he got out of bed again.

I thought for sure I'd feel better in the morning. And then I woke up this morning and as I laid in bed, just started crying again. I hate feeling like my kids deserve a better mother. I hate feeling like the smallest thing will turn on the waterworks. I hate feeling sad about something I can't even remember (what AM I crying about now?). Anyway, Joel left for work a little later because he got the kids ready and washed the dishes piled in the sink. I took a shower and then took Ainsleigh to school.

I don't even really know what the purpose of this is, except to say that I just feel really...sad today. And I know it's stupid because what is there to be sad about? ( I actually WANTED Christian to win Project Runway!) I mean really? But I do. I'm sad and tired and my hormones are out of control. So I'm going to wash my face, go to Costco, hope I don't cry while I'm there, and then eat a churro. I mean really, my day can only get better, right?