Thursday, June 4, 2009

today's lesson

Photosynthesis. How do I explain it to you kids...see the plants? See how they have leaves? The leaves have cells that soak up the sun and transform that energy into both oxygen, which is what we need to breathe, and sugar, which is what we need Er, not a plate of sugar...the sugar Anyway, forget I said sugar. No, Donovan, you don't get candy. LISTEN.

So see, to make it possible for us to breathe and eat - we like eating and breathing, right? - the plants need their leaves. Now. I appreciate your desire to concoct all manner of magical potions. But the leaves you chose to use today? Are from our delicate strawberry plant and my basil. I cannot believe you picked ALL of my basil. And now it is strewn about the yard. I can acknowledge that yes, it does lend a delightful smell back there (which is how I knew something was terribly wrong when I walked out onto the deck), but now I am basil-less and this puts a damper on my meal opportunities and that, in turn, makes me cranky.

So let's review - picking leaves off of my herbs and strawberry plants means we won't breathe, we won't eat, and you get to go clean your rooms instead of playing (which, apparently, is a fate worse than, say, waterboarding). Let's respect science and photosynthesis and we can all keep merrily playing outside.

NOW you can have some candy.


wanda said...

I can't believe you are trying to stand in the way of magic potions.

loewymartin said...

LOL - this post may get printed out and put on my fridge. The fact that you can find humor in someone effectively killing your dinner plans means that I need to try harder. And maybe I won't have to put myself in timeout...