Tuesday, July 7, 2009


I appreciate the addition of the zip-top to many packaged items. Frozen chicken breasts? Excellent. Pirate's Booty? Brilliant. Except that can I take a moment to point out that people need to stop calling it popcorn? It's not popcorn. It's PUFFED corn. Vastly different, people. I'm not saying it isn't delicious. And I'm not saying that I haven't consumed far more than I should. Essentially, it's like cheetos puffs, but without feeling like you're either 6 or Britney Spears when you eat them. It's, shall we say, CLASSY cheetos. And, according to the bag, good for you. Good, of course, being a relative term. Where was I? Zippered tops. Yes. I guess the thing is that ziptops make sense on a host of foodstuffs. Where they mystify me? On the top of the bag of socks I bought for Joel just this past weekend. This MIGHT make sense if it was a bag of, say, 30 pairs. Clearly, he would not need that many socks, so maybe we would remove the desired amount, zip the top, and put it up in our closet. But this had six pairs. SIX. I sat there looking at this bag, brow furrowed, with my most exasperated WHATINTHEWORLD? face trying to think of an instance where I might want to retain this packaging. Or reuse it? The packaging was obviously proud of itself since it went out of its way to notify the consumer of its zippering capabilities. I finally gave up and tried to open the bag above the zipper. You know, to preserve its function. Wouldn't you know it, that zipper was NOT going to open. Perhaps it knew I was mocking its existence. Perhaps it was just the weirdest practical joke ever. After many attempts to separate one zip from the other (what IS one size of a zipper called?), I gave up and ripped into the housing beyond which the puffy socks lay. But I'm still curious to know how that meeting went, "Let's put a zipper on top so people can keep their socks in our bag!" "Brilliant, Pete! You've just earned your bonus!" I think I'll go eat some puffed corn Pirate's Booty while I think about that.


Lisa said...

That way you don't need a drawer. Just a bag 'o socks.

And I'm thinking that the part where you say "footstuffs" is a Freudian slip :)

Sarah said...

NICE catch. I stand corrected.