Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Mischievous Gemma, in three acts.

Thank you, Gemma, for teaching me why safety harnesses are necessary. See, with the other two, they were more of a suggestion. An idea. The high chair came with a 5-point harness, but seeing as how Ainsleigh didn't have the desire and Donovan was too fat to effectively move, they weren't really used to their potential. I'll admit it: I took them out. I  mean come ON, those high chairs are already disgusting with how food can and does get everywhere, despite my best efforts with toothpicks and an old toothbrush. I figured I'd cut back on surface area. I found myself madly digging through drawers and boxes a couple weeks ago, though, when I returned to the kitchen (after a brief moment) to behold that not only were you not sitting down, you were kneeling on all fours (*hang head in horrific shame*) ON.YOUR.TRAY. Not only that, but you were cautiously dangling one foot over the side as if to test the area and see if you could get down. From THREE FEET UP. Hey Gemma, here's where I suggest that you learn the words, "Down, please." And learn to shout them at your inept mother (here's where I think she needs to move beyond sign language). And here's where I also suggest that I not be that careless parent. That "Never Leave Child Unattended" is well noted.

Most of the time (MOST) I remember to secure your seat belt when you're in the stroller. But every so often, I don't. Like yesterday, when the entire day seemed to be an exercise in, "What time is it? Oh CRAP, we're supposed to be there in 2 minutes and it's going to take us at least 8. Lessgolessgolessgo!" So I plunked you into the stroller and Donovan (on his scooter) and I bolted to the school to get Ainsleigh. On the way back, at a much more leisurely pace, I'm listening to Ainsleigh recount who did what to get in trouble (oh Calvin, how I love to hear your antics) when up pops Gemma's head. She is STANDING (facing forward) in the stroller, waving. To other people. Like a bleeping princess on a float. Like she's saying, "Check me out!" Grah!

And finally, all backpacks must be secured above 3 feet. Because otherwise Gemma will find them and OPEN then and remove the water bottle and open IT and sprinkle/water my entry and kitchen floors. Frunumanum! Exasperation to new levels as I'm trying to puree roasted pumpkin and make cookies and cook dinner AND help Ainsleigh with homework. I have a cookie sheet fresh from the oven in one hand so I use the other hand to grasp Gemma's upper arm and carry her far away from the trail of water and it occurs to me that this is not a good way to transport a child and I'm hoping this isn't (too) painful and I look down and...she's giggling. Shiny-eyed, cheek-bursting, hugely grinning giggling. I set her down and she claps. And signs "more."

I don't know how such a little body can contain so much attitude.

6 comments:

NancyO said...

Wow, never a dull moment. Between you and Angela, who is currently potty training twin boys (with three other kids running around), I don't know who's having more fun.

wanda said...

I was always afraid that you kids would think I only knew one word: hurry. And I can't believe that Gemma is such a little monkey.

Tennille said...

This sounds exactly like my twins. I'm constantly finding new ways to strap them down and keep them contained. And they're always finding new ways to get around whatever I try.

Becca said...

Hehehehe can't tell you how much joy this post brought me. I miss Gemma already...so excited for 2 weeks to pass!

janine said...

i feel your pain. josh has that obsession with my hand/diaper bag. i inevitably go to check out at the store and my debit card is missing or my personal favorite, finding my SOCIAL SECURITY card on the stairs last week.

Andrea said...

I love hearing Gemma sotries. She and Molly would get into a lot of trouble together.