Friday, May 21, 2010

hurt feelings?

Bargh, I've got a mental backlog of really riveting stories (eyeroll) that I haven't had the chance to get to because I was sick and then Joel was sick (which means I can't upload pictures because I don't do them right or something) and then there were some issues that I needed to mentally process before I could put them on paper (er, screen?) and then Joel's backup drive FAILED and that wouldn't be so bad except that it wasn't just the backup drive it was THE drive for his freelance stuff and then suddenly we're being told it will cost $2,000 to retrieve the data and we were scrambling to figure out just what to do in this scenario and then Ainsleigh started puking and... Well anyway, we have a couple Flat Ainsleigh logs to get to so I don't want people thinking I'm disregarding them. So, I'm back online (on the faster computer since Joel is off visiting his oldest=best sister) for a few days, so saddle up! For now, here's more evidence that Donovan is dumb.

On the day I got my hair chopped off, Donovan walked in from school and stopped short. I showed him my hair and pulled out the ponytail holder so he could really get the full effect. Lips pursed in thought, he stared before inhaling and saying, "I liked it better long. And in a ponytail it's ok. But when you take out the ponytail it looks kind of not good." I couldn't blame him too much. First of all, it looked like maybe HE had done the haircut (that's what happens when you put your hair in two ponytails and then cut them off and go about your day). Second, the truth was I liked it better long. Well, longER than it was. But still, that was kind of harsh. Whatever, eat your lunch.

Fast forward to when Dono and I were playing our traditional post-lunch pre-quiet time 20-minute Lego Wii session and I whipped out some gummy bears. Look what I have! His eyes lit up. Candy! Best mom ever! We played and snacked a little before he excused himself to the bathroom (also part of the tradition). A little while later he came back and said his stomach hurt. Ok, so don't eat the gummy bears. Or here's an idea, don't cram as many into your mouth as possible. Just a suggestion. He went back to the bathroom. When he returned, his voice held a note of sorrow as he gently broke it to me that he maybe didn't care for the gummy bears. No problem, I reassured him (hello, they're not vegetables), and why do you sound like you're going to cry?

"Because I don't want to hurt your feelings," he sobbed as he buried his face in his hands.

Dude, they're gummy bears. I don't care if you don't eat them. More for me.

"But you wanted to share them with me and I don't want to eat them but it will hurt your feelings. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaw."

DUDE. I paused the game. We're talking about CANDY here. Not eating candy does not hurt my feelings (though it does remind me of the time I told the kids they could eat as much Halloween candy as they wanted before I dumped the rest and Ainsleigh ended up sobbing that I was so mean because I was making them eat ALL the candy - imbeciles).

He walked over and crumpled into my lap, sobbing into my shoulder, clutching my neck. I held him out to look into his eyes.

"Look at me, Donovan. Do I look like I'm sad?" No, he moaned. "Come to think of it, if ANYTHING hurt my feelings today, it was when you said you thought my hair wasn't good. THAT might have come as close to anything. But gummy bears? You're being absurd."

Really, my kids are so dumb sometimes.


Alice said...

I'm not surprised that I laughed after reading this.