Sunday, August 1, 2010

Did you miss me?

We returned last night from a family reunion in the middle of Idaho. I will have much to say on this topic in the coming days, but suffice it to say, we left last Saturday at 4 am (Joel and I waking at 3:30 after falling asleep after midnight when our stupid neighbors were letting their stupid kids and their stupid friends and their stupid friends' kids run around SCREAMING at 11:30 pm - I seriously wanted to doorbell ditch them on the way out. Maybe I'll do it tonight, just because) and arriving around 8:30 pm, only stopping three times. You heard me. Once every 4 hours or so. I'm raising road warriors, I tell you. On the way home, we left at 5 am and arrived around 8:45 pm. I'm not really sure how we shaved off 45 minutes since I think we stopped longer for lunch to say hello to my sister Becca and her boyfriend Austin (nice meeting you!), and we actually had to stop an hour and a half after lunch since Donovan apparently drank too much soda. I can only chalk it up to our amazing ability to predict the exact speed at which we can drive that enables us to avoid the detection of law enforcement. Or at least be near someone who is going just a hair faster than us becoming the target of the radar guns. (hey silver Mazda - was zipping around and cutting me off, narrowly avoiding myself and the semi that I was in the process of passing, worth it when the highway patrolman pulled your sorry bumper over?! so long, sucker!)

1. A constant barrage of salty snacks (mingled with apple slices and bottled water) is a great way to minimize bathroom breaks.
2. Video-enabled ipods are the greatest invention in the world.
3. Giving a bedroom "shutters" that open to the rest of the house, creating a loft-like environment, are the worst invention in the world.
4. A sign that promises "Mountain High Scoops of Ice Cream" and then delivers just that, for $2, should probably be listed as a charity on their tax forms.
5. Cousins are great things.
6. So are siblings and siblings-in-law.
7. A septic tank with an exhaust tube near the house makes for endless jokes and horrific smells.
8. I would say that mosquitoes suck, but they put such a damper on my mood that I cannot even enjoy a good pun.
9. Cornuts on a road trip are just as delicious as I remember them being in seventh grade.
10. Happiness is driving through the wilderness with Ainsleigh happily coloring on her new white board with an array of dry-erase markers, Donovan watching "Phantom Menace" on an ipod, Gemma wearing wireless headphones watching her 17th episode of Dora on the car DVD player, and Joel reading a book and taking a nap while I listen to Harry Potter on another ipod.

But don't ask me to drive anywhere more than 10 minutes away for at least a week.


Lisa said...

YOU not enjoy a PUN???? Those mosquitoes must've been really bad.

There is a rule about cornuts and road trips--either everyone eats them, or no one eats them. They stink big time, until you eat one, then they smell good and you want to eat a truckload.

Angie said...

It's funny you say cornuts because I remember eating them on road trips in seventh grade too!!! I get them every once in a while too:)

Allison said...

Cornuts are stinky, but man, they keep you awake better than any caffeine-laden drink. Of course, they are best with a Diet Coke. Sorry about the mosquitos--they're the reason I'm spending most of my summer indoors. I think we need pics of Gemma wearing headphones watching Dora.