Thursday, September 16, 2010

forgetting, wasting time, and cheesecake

A couple days ago I woke up, horrified that I hadn't actually sent the final installment check to the painters when I had emailed them to say I would put it in the mail that day. So I emailed them to relay that horror and promise to remedy the situation as soon as the sun was up.

In the light of day, and upon writing out the check, I was overcome with the distinct impression that I had already written that check. And put it in the mail. So I composed another apologetic email, only this time it was bathed in the horror of embarrassment times two. "Um, hi, me again. I actually can't remember if I did or did not send that check. And now my bank's site is down, so I can't see if it has been deposited. So...I may very well be the dumbest person you're going to correspond with today. I apologize."

That's kind of how my days have felt like, lately. Like I'm trying to manage a lot of things, and instead of doing it well I'm backtracking and repeating and double-checking and soon, rather than being super efficient, I end up wasting a lot of time.

And then yesterday Donovan shoved a piece of paper in my face for me to read and I had to take it and hold it away. So I could see it. Like old people do. OLD.

I'm not feeling so good about my mental state right now. Maybe it will get worse fast and then I won't remember what it was like to know stuff. And see stuff.

One thing that made me feel good was that I sort of made up a recipe for a baby shower. The rules were simple: small and pink. (Which is really easy for the sweet stuff, but a little challenging for the savory.) I wanted to make cheesecake bites. I've made lemon cheesecake with lemon curd* and cut them into about 1.5" squares and set them in cupcake wrappers before. So I thought I would make just regular cheesecake but top it with something pink. Can I make strawberry curd? So I sifted through a bunch of recipes for cheesecake and curd and pondered on using a 10x15 pan and this is where all those years of Honors Math classes really pays off because I can multiply and do fractions that would make Mr. Smith proud, if he's still alive. And I kind of ended up making my own recipe. And then cut them in 1/2-inch squares, carefully wiping the knife EACH.TIME. I let the kids (and Joel) have the rejects. Donovan sat there eating it and proclaiming it "so delicious I JUST CAN'T STOP EATING IT!" So I told him I sort of made it up. He set his fork down on the table and, gesturing toward the bowl with wide eyes asked, "You mean, this isn't in one of your books?" Nope. "Or on your computer?!" I shook my head and told him I just made it in my brain. "THIS is a good idea. You should have more ideas like this."

Maybe that's why I can't keep other stuff in my head at the moment. It's not age. It's that my brain is busy working on how to solve real crises.

Then again, maybe that dessert just proves my point - I seem to be taking the longest possible route to get places. Like I'm looking at a situation and think, "How can I make this more complicated?"

I think those painters need some cheesecake.

*curd, in its fruit forms, is as delicious as it sounds awful. try some. I am not familiar with the Miss Muffet form.


Sarah Burgoyne said...

Donovan is right you really should have more ideas like that and then bring them to my house :) The baby shower was awesome, I'd have you plan mine if I was having another baby that is :)

janine said...

dang! i totally thought that those were bought! and delicious but they just looked so beautiful! and i'm still drooling over that bruschetta! you are a genius. slurp!

GWACK said...

I want to see pictures of the pink baby shower! Glad that everything turned out well. The cheesecake sounds delish.

Lisa said...

If your awesome cooking skills are causing you to forget regular day-to-day things, it's worth it. Because you're a rocking cook.

Kellie Knapp said...

recipe, please and thank you. Also... move to Montana.

Allison said...

So did you ever pay the painters?