Monday, March 21, 2011

Don't worry about it.

"Don't worry about it." This is what Gemma says to me, with her chin tucked slightly, looking up at me with huge blue eyes, face perfectly still, lips slightly pursed, and hands actively engaged in things to worry about: cutting Donovan's homework, digging into a tub of Eucerin, drawing with permanent markers. "Don't worry about it, Mommy. Don't worry about it."

If I've lost track of where she is and call out, "Gemma, where are you?" and she responds, after a bit of a telling pause, "Don't worry about it, Mommy!" then you can bet I am scrambling like a maniac to find where, exactly, I shouldn't be worried.

She's a funny one, this little kid of mine. She loves to climb in bed with me on Sunday mornings and we cuddle for 20 or 30 minutes. Her ability, and desire, to just cuddle for an extensive period of time amazes me. If I am sitting at the computer, she will often come over and ask to sit on my lap. Like right now. And she'll sit, facing me, head resting against my chest or buried in my armpit (nice), singing songs or asking me questions ("How is your day?" "You go to school today?" "You take a shower already?" "Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Wook at me. Mommy. Mommy. I wuff you. Mommy.").

She's dependent, but also experimenting with independence. At naptime, she has taken to saying, "I rock mysehwff." So instead of sitting together and singing a couple songs, she'll climb into the rocking chair and rock back and forth while I stand there like a chump, singing. Sometimes she'll interrupt me to say she wants to sing by herself. And then she'll climb off the chair, squat down, and wrap her arms around herself and twist back and forth saying, "I wuff mysehwff. I wuff mysehwff. Ok, I ready to sweep!" I insist on loving her, too. I figure she's got decades of putting herself to bed and I've only got maybe a few more years.

Sometimes it makes me sad, to contemplate not having these moments where she depends on me for so much. Along with the scissors and markers and lotion, though, I imagine that if I told her, she'd just quietly say, "Don't worry about it."


Tennille said...

The more I discover about my own Norah, and the more I learn about Gemma, the more I think these two should NEVER be in a room together. They would be in trouble very, very quickly.

Lisa said...

Awww, I love the thought of her cuddling on your lap talking to you. So sweet :)

P.S. It wont' let me comment on your newest post, so let me just say--HATE CANCER! HATE IT! BOO!

Annie said...

Mary has taken to kissing herself in the mirror. And I'm okay with that. It is a good reminder to me that we SHOULD love and take care of ourselves. Love that Gemma. What a sweetie heart.