Wednesday, May 11, 2011

PSA: I am not a cat.

Oh dear. It's been a while since I've had to do one of these. Commence humbling moment...

When your kid has a runny nose and they wipe it with the back of their hand and it streaks across their cheek so you don't see it until it has dried into a crusty snot-scab, a mom's job is to clean them up. Generally, when a water source is nearby, this is done by wetting a cloth/tissue/sleeve first. When you are lacking a water supply, you lick your finger/tissue and touch them up. If that sounds gross to you, I'm guessing you don't have children. Children are walking challenges to everything you ever thought was the right way to do something.

Here comes the PSA:
No matter how grossed out you are by the snot-scab, do NOT do the lick-tissue thing when you're sitting in the exam room at Urgent Care, detailing the list of symptoms you and the snot-scabbee have had for the past few days. Because I can tell you right now what happens next:

Doctor: So...did you just lick the tissue and wipe her face?
Me: ...Uh...uh...(like a kid who has just been caught red-handed)...yeeeeeeeah.
Doctor: So, see right there - I can see that you're just passing germs back and forth. And so we probably have a number of things going on here.

He didn't say it in a condescending way or try to make me feel bad. I think he just kind of thought, "Uh, yeah, you're a mess. And with what else has been plaguing your other kids, it's probably a safe bet that you have a nice colony of viruses and bacteria playing ring-around-the-rosie in your body. Also, you're not a mother cat so don't lick your child."

The upside is we left the office with prescriptions for the mess of disease and coupling that with Advil, I'm starting to feel better. Also, I have a super freaky voice right about now and my kids keep saying, "Can't you talk louder?" My voice isn't super quiet - I think they're just used to, shall we say, an energetic volume.

Summary: Stay healthy, and don't use your spit to clean your kids. At least not while a doctor is watching.

2 comments:

Tennille said...

Note taken.

Sarah Burgoyne said...

That's awesome, at least you didnt use your tongue :)