Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Witches and Way-dees

I'm standing in line at Sunflower Market with Gemma in the shopping cart. We're making small talk, as one does with someone small. She looks over my shoulder and I can see her eyes focus on whoever is standing in back of me. I can also tell by her eyes that the person has either waved or smiled. I'm about to look back and do the friendly acknowledgment nod/smile/salute when Gemma breaks into a grin and squeals, "Dare's a WITCH right dare!"


I turn, as if in slow motion, asking myself how I can best cover this up. What else could it possibly sound like? Could we just laugh it off?

As the person came into view, I had my friendly/apologetic smile ready and was suddenly relieved to see that she was standing farther back than I feared. Also, she seemed to be incredibly old. Also, she seemed to be foreign. At least I hope so. Because when she grinned back at me, I took in her deeply lined face, her hunched back, and her mouth that seemed to house about 72 of the most crooked teeth I've ever seen, and after nodding and smiling I turned back to Gemma and said, with face frozen and voice low, "Yes, Gemma. But witches don't like to be called out. Let's just say lady and she won't try to eat you."

Gemma nodded solemnly. I didn't think much of it until, a couple weeks later, we were in line at Target. A similar scenario played out but immediately following her, "There's a WITCH!" she clasped her wee hands to her mouth, eyes wide. She slowly lowered her hands and said very loudly and very clearly, "I mean dat's just a way-dee. NOT a witch. A WAAAAAY-DEEEEEE!!!!!"

I don't know which was worse. Actually, yes I do: the second one. Because a) that lady was close and definitely knew what Gemma was saying, and b) she did not actually look like a witch.

I've got to teach this girl some manners.


wanda said...

Hahahaha. Funny AND true. Did I ever tell you that two ladies in my ward were in giggles in Relief Society because Gemma pointed out a "witch" in the row behind her? Then they told me to whom she was referring and she actually DOES kind of look like a witch. Gemma just calls them as she sees them. When she starts calling me a witch, I won't think it is so funny..... But then kids at school always called me "Wanda the witch!"

Melin said...

Nope that's all awesome.

Sarah Burgoyne said...

Oh but she is so freaking adorable and she is your last, soke up her verbal indiscretions :)

Annie said...

Ha! Hilarious.