Dear Gemma,
When you were a tiny baby, Daddy and I wondered how we got so lucky to have you. As the years have passed, I've wondered when our luck would run out. Another year has passed, and I'm still wondering. Your soft cheeks, long hair, big eyes and continuing attachment to Ducky are proving a major disruption to my productivity as I stop to hug you or stroke your face or smell your hair. I've got the rest of my life to be productive, though, so I'll worry about that later.
The one story that is your absolute favorite is "Duh Pale Green Pants" story, more formally (and accurately) titled, "What Was I Scared Of?" It's the last story in Dr. Seuss' "Sneetches" book. It's actually a story that kind of creeps me out. I mean, a pair of pants? Running around? Why WOULDN'T you be scared of them? And then they CRY?! You love to alternate saying lines with me and I have to withhold a shudder when you say (in its entirety):
I put my arm around their waistIT'S SO WEIRD. But you love it. And I love that you love it, even if I don't love it.
And sat right down beside them.
I calmed them down.
Poor empty pants
With nobody inside them.
I love that you look up to them. I love that they love to include you. I worry that we've spoiled you a little too much, but not enough to change a whole lot. When you started preschool this year, we had a little bit of a problem with appropriate reactions in situations. I made up "Gemma's Happy Chart" complete with happy face stickers that you took to/from school. When you could go the whole day without screaming, you earned a sticker. Ainsleigh and Donovan were so good to coach you before they left for school, "Do we scream?" "Are you going to be a good friend today?" They want you to succeed as much as I do. And when you do succeed, we all celebrate with you.
And still, Ducky is always in the picture. And, more specifically Ducky's foot that you'll rub against your lips or nose when you're watching a movie or reading a book or falling asleep. I don't know how much longer Ducky will be so present in your life. You don't take Ducky to school, and usually not to church or to run errands. But we all know that Ducky is a cure-all. Ducky's baths have to be carefully scheduled while you're at school or after you fall asleep at night because otherwise it results in you staring at the washing machine door, watching the suds swirl around. You've been known to drag in one of your doll chairs and wait there for the glorious reunion when a cleaner, fresher Ducky emerges.
One of the things Daddy has been doing with you at night is laying down with you and playing a song for you on his phone. This was highlighted in our Retrospective with what you call "The Funny Ear Song," but which is actually Ellie Goulding's cover of "Your Song." We're not sure why you call it that, except that the album art has her throwing her head back and I guess her ear looks funny to you. You sing along with the entire song, and it makes my heart practically explode with love for you and Daddy. Sometimes I curl up with you both and think, "This is the best place in the whole world." And when I start to sit up to climb off the bed and you jump up and throw your arms around my neck to whisper in my ear, "I love you. I love you. I love you," I think, "I AM SO LUCKY!" I've won the lottery with you.
I love you so much. So very impossibly exponentially much. You probably won't understand until you have a baby of your own, but by then I'll love you a bajillion times more, so just know that no matter how much you think I love you, it's way way way more.
Love,
Mom
2 comments:
I love all of these!! Makes parenthood look so fun.
Your letters are so wonderful Sarah! You have brought tears to my eyes in reading all of them. Motherhood is such an amazing experience and you put it into words perfectly. What a special gift you have given to your children with these letters.
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