Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Gemma hones some less-than-admirable skills.

Gemma is a kleptomaniac.

It's becoming a bit ridiculous, really. First, it started with small toys from Ainsleigh's room. Then it was Donovan's gum stash. One day I couldn't find any of my lip stick/balm. After looking in the two possible places in which they could have been, I turned to Gemma and asked if she took them. Wide-eyed and convincingly, she replied, "No."

Gemma is also a liar.

I finally said to her in my most convincing voice, "Just give me back my lipstick and chapstick and I won't get mad that you took it. Just give it back so we can laugh." I said this, and then I kind of held my breath. If she didn't bite, then I knew my next step would be to call the local news to report disappearing cosmetics. Luckily, the sensor all moms have, but can vary in effectiveness, was finely tuned for me that day. "Ok FINE," she shrugged and stomped off. I followed her to her room where she opened her dresser drawer where I beheld a much more significant stash than I realized, along with several trinkets belonging to her siblings.

So it was only natural today that when Joel couldn't find his wallet, he asked Gemma if she had taken it. No, she replied. I didn't think she would have done that since it would have required her to take it off his desk in his office. Which he rarely vacates during the day. It seemed out of character. I suggested a number of places it could be and over the next 20 minutes, none of the possible (and increasingly outrageous) places revealed the wallet. I'm not sure what tipped Gemma off to the severity of the situation, (surely not the repeated inquiries into its whereabouts) but I finally heard her squeal, "Oh Daddy! I have a surprise for you!"

She is such a lying thief.

Wallet held aloft, she ran to Joel and triumphantly proclaimed, "I found your wallet!" Really?!?! FOUND, the wallet? Or retrieved the wallet?

"Where was it?" Joel asked. I can only imagine he was hoping it wasn't in any of the stupid places I had suggested. Gemma ran back into the living room and pointed to the basket of her doll stroller and said, "It was in the bottom of this thing!" in a voice that seemed to say, "What is this contraption? I don't know what it is or who it belongs to, but somehow your wallet ended up with it. Crazy!"

I was standing in the kitchen, doing dishes, but watching all of this play out. Joel turned to give me "the look" from across the room, and he began to warn Gemma against taking his wallet again, when suddenly she said, almost sheepishly, "And look, here are your snacks!"

As Joel pulled out his m&ms and almonds, I had to duck my head and pay close attention to the oatmeal stuck to the bowl I was cleaning. Suddenly those oats were very, very funny.


Heaven help me. This kid steals and lies convincingly. I'm doomed. I'll start prepping by hiding my own snacks...

4 comments:

Janineg said...

i think it's a little sister trait. i remember finding my prom dress wadded up under the bathroom sink from one of my little sisters trying it on without permissions. ahh. it happened many times. ainsleigh and dono better brace themselves:)

Nataluscious said...

I am laughing so hard that you called her a lying theif. I have a couple of those too. Ha! :)

Sarah Burgoyne said...

My little sister would steal things from around the house before Christmas, wrap them and put them under the tree. Later in the day we would all trade our things back to each other. We still make fun of her for that and shes 21 :)

NancyO said...

Thaat's so funny! I love her picture - she could get away with anything.