Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy day, Moom.

I'm having a hard time articulating something about mothers today. Maybe it's because a dear friend is currently watching her mother face an unbeatable cancer. Maybe it's because a cousin is caring for her mother after she was hit by a car. Maybe it's because I'm hormonal. Maybe it's just because when I start to talk about a subject that I hold in such high regard, the screen goes fuzzy and my fingers go shaky as I try to not sob. Why am I crying? Maybe a little because I'm not small any more and I can't leave my life up to her. Maybe it's because I know that no matter what I say, it will never be enough. Maybe it's because I'm overwhelmed that out of all the moms in the world, I got the best one. Maybe it's because I ALWAYS CRY. But then, I get that from her.

Last week was my birthday and I was so busy celebrating myself that I didn't even venture onto my blog! Joel surprised me with a road bike, knowing I'd like to do a triathlon this summer. As I saw that, and the gorgeous cycling jersey my mom sent (who knew cycling gear was so deliciously soft?!), my first thought after, "Ok, I guess I'm really going to do this," was, "Wheeeeee! I get to be like my Mom when I grow up!"

I guess there's a part of me that will never outgrow that - the part that wants to be like my mom. But that's because my mom is kind of a rock star in the keep-trying-new-things department. She's raised six kids and acquired new hobbies along the way. She just got back from a trip with my dad to the Holy Land and Rome. She is taking a photography class and cycles nearly a billion miles a year (that might be a tiny exaggeration). Yesterday, when I talked to her on the phone, nearly two hours flew by before we had run out of things to talk about. And then a couple hours later I thought of a few more things I did't say.

So, in the absence of anything really meaningful to say, I'm just going to say that my mom is the kind of mom who makes me keep wanting to be a mom when I grow up. Happy Mother's Day, Moom.

And I'd like to apologize for all the Mother's Days that somehow seemed harder and more work than your average day. What is up with that, anyway?